


The Illusion of Love

by Celestialspiritsamm



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angels, Dean Winchester - Freeform, Demons, F/M, Lucifer - Freeform, Original Character(s), Sam Winchester - Freeform, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 08:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8137585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celestialspiritsamm/pseuds/Celestialspiritsamm
Summary: Willa Avery Scott didn't expect to ever date someone as sweet, caring, and wonderful as Jared Padalecki in her life--she especially didn't expect him to fall completely in love with her in the seven months they've been together. Soon, their love is put to the test when doubts arise and secrets are revealed in the worst manner. Everything seems to be fine in her little world but not everything turns out to be as perfect like it is on television. At least, not for Willa.Jared Tristan Padalecki is a celebrity but that doesn't stop him from falling hard for a certain girl. The only girl who could truly break his heart: Willa. But when things start to shake in their perfect relationship, he's determined to fix it and never let her go. Though, will his secrets cause a rift between them? Or will they bring the two of them closer together?[THIS IS JUST A SNEAK PEAK! Please tell me if you would like to read the whole thing. Thanks!]





	1. The Truth of the Illusion

"I never thought I'd find myself in this position," He chuckled to himself as his calloused hand caressed my soft, porcelain cheek.

"Is it so hard to believe you're in love?" I bit my lip as I teased him.

His eyes traveled from my eyes to my lips and then back to my blue irisis. He was happy--I could tell from the shine in his eyes that I knew wasn't the sun being reflected but was, instead, compassion and excitement. With me, he wasn't the proud man walking down the red carpet with a reputation to uphold that he usually was. He dropped the mean act and treated me like I was so precious to him. Like I was an expensive jewel instead of the dull rock I was.

"No," he said, grasping my hand in his, "I just can't believe that I've finally found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with."

I dropped my gaze as the blood rushed to my cheeks. I was almost mortified and scared senseless but I knew that his words were true and full of meaning. He knew what love was and didn't need as much time as I did to fall for someone else. It had been five months since we began our relationship and we were both grateful for the companionship. But my head was overriding my heart, thus allowing him to love me before I could love him. Guilt consumed me as he played with my fingers, a small smile on his face.

"You must be so angry with me," I spoke quietly.

He looked at me surprised, suddenly bringing his hand up to lift my chin, forcing me to meet his smoldering eyes.

"Angry? Because you don't love me yet? I could never be angry at you, my dear Willa. In fact, I'm quite the opposite. I'm ecstatic that you're making sure you actually care for me instead of just telling me what I want to hear," he gave me one of his breathtaking grins, "So, please, don't ever think I'm angry about this sort of thing."

I began to tear up, wondering how I ended up deserving a man so handsome and filled with the desire to make others happy. I didn't understand how I hadn't fallen in love with him yet.

He looked back towards my lips again, his eyes only flickering back and forth. It was as if a magnet had attached itself to our faces without us knowing; we slowly drifted to each other like the waves to the shore. All that could be heard was our breathing and my pounding heart that was all but ready to rip from my chest.

"Willa," he whispered my name so quietly and full of passion. I took it as a declaration of love. One he's already told me but I adore hearing again and again.

"Jared," I breathed back at him, resting my hands on his shoulders, raising up to meet his warm and inviting lips in a much needed kiss. His arms made their way around my waist as I did, pulling me tighter, closer, to his body in a plea--asking me to never leave his side.

Never, I thought. I'll never leave you.

We broke apart abruptly, panting as our lungs begged for the air I cursed at for needing. All I wanted was him and I didn't want, or need, simple matters separating us but something always did. He brought me into a hug, resting his chin upon my head, and whispered his adoration into my ear. He told me of his plans and the dreams he had for us in the future. Of the ideas stored in his mind that kept piling up and overflowing with new ones every second; ideas of romantic outings and nighttime elopings. He told me that I was his and he'd never give me up. He told me all the things a girl wanted to hear but the difference between Jared and other men, was that I knew he meant every word he spoke to me.

No, I wasn't in love with this gorgeous man yet but I was about to find out why and whether or not I ever would be.

\--

Two Months Later

"I don't love you, Jared," I looked at his broken expression, barely forcing those five words to escape past my lips in a quivering voice.

His body trembled and tears began leaking from his eyes, sliding down the tan, stubbled cheeks I'd laid my hand upon so many times in a caring embrace. He took a step back and fell into the chair at the table behind him. He didn't look at me before letting his head fall into his hands, running fingers through his long locks and swallowing. He wiped away a few stray tears and looked back up at me. His gaze made me feel like I was intruding on my own breakup, like I was a stranger on the outside. His eyes searched mine for something that wasn't there. Truth? A lie? I didn't show any of the emotion that was boiling inside of me.

"You.. don't love me?" He gasped, not wanting to repeat the words or believe them.

I shook my head, feeling the tears begin to rise. 

"Why?" His voice cracked and he began crying again, "What did I do? What didn't I do? I gave you everything, I made sure you were happy, I don't understa--."

"Jared," I cut him off, "You did everything you could have."

"Then why don't you love me?" He cried out, standing up, "That's all I ever wanted! It's all I ever needed from you! What went wrong?"

I took a step back, not expecting the burst of anger or the sudden movement.

"What about every time you told me you loved me?" He continued, "Every kiss? Every touch?" He cupped my tear streaked face with his hands, bending down to me. Our faces were inches a part. 

"Did any of that mean anything?" His tone was lifeless. Dull. Exempt of any emotion other than utter heartbreak.

I sobbed and nodded. 

"It meant everything to me!" I blubbered embarassingly, "Me being in love wasn't the problem...," I trailed off. 

"Then what was?" He whispered. I could barely hear him. 

I looked away. I couldn't face him and give him a truthful answer. 

"When we first met... When we fell in love... I mean," I was just beating around the bush. I sighed and decided to get it over with.

"I didn't fall in love with Jared Padalecki. I fell in love with Sam Winchester."

There was a moment of complete silence. Even the Earth seemed to stand still. Jared dropped his hands from my face and he looked at me with no hint of what he was feeling. He let nothing show and said nothing to indicate that he was going to speak to me. The clock on the wall kept ticking with the movement of the second hand, informing me of the time passed. After thirty-nine seconds of torture, he made a move. He straightened his back and shoved his hands in the pockets of his brown, Carhart jacket, his breathing shallow and pained.

"I see." He finally acknowledged me.

I said nothing, blinking once. Twice. Three times.

He sighed and, before I registered what had happened, wrapped me in his warm arms. I didn't move to hug him in return.

"I... I don't understand."

He chuckled at me, "You don't have to. I love you, Willa. I won't give up on us."

I pushed him away, ignoring his hurt and confused gaze.

"Don't you understand? I can't love you because I'm in love with a part of you that doesn't actually exist!" I didn't understand. How could he be so calm about this? Just before, he was having a hysterical break down because I was leaving him!

He sighed once more, shaking his head, and pulled me to sit on the love seat. It was the only love seat in the whole two bedroom apartment but there were tons of other furniture that he could have chosen to occupy. I was nervous. 

"The thing about love, my darling, is that it doesn't just go away," he played with my hands, a habit of his, "And my love for you won't leave so easily."

He turned to face me completely. Taking my hands tightly and firmly in his. I hope he doesn't mind the sweat. 

"I remember the day I fell in love with you. I had come over to your place because it was our four month anniversary and I wanted to show you that I actually remembered. I waited outside of your door for fifteen whole minutes before you answered," we both smiled at the memory, "And the first thing I saw was a birds nest living on your head. You wore a tattered, yellow shirt with this crazily, huge daisy on the front."

He choked on a sob as he let out a sharp laugh and cupped my face again.

"And you're still as beautiful as you were then, Willa. Even when you burned our dinner and even after the numerous times you've spilt your coffee on me due to your clumsiness. I. Still. Love. You. And I won't let you go. Soon enough, you'll love me. Not Sam Winchester."

His lips met mine and our kiss was hard, loving, and filled with his hope and reluctance to end something so beautiful. My heart melted, my mind became fuzzy. All I could think about was the future. Could this really work? Our lips locked once more and I knew--even if it didn't work out, he would still try his hardest, and so would I. It was the only thing I could do.We pulled apart and he held me to his chest where I sobbed into the ugly, fifteen dollar Polo shirt I bought him as a gag gift but he wore anyways; just because he loved me. 

We sat and listened to the ever ticking clock, the sound of the passing traffic, the roar of the television in the next room that had been left unattended. We weren't bothered by it but instead, blocked it out with the sound of our hearts beating in sync, and the sound of Jared pursuing his favorite past time: whispering his adoration into my ear.


	2. Hey Willa? It's Jensen Ackles.

"I'm wanted! Dead or Alive!"

Bon Jovi blasted from the television in front of the couch I was sitting on, my legs tucked underneath me. I had been watching an episode of Supernatural for the past fifteen minutes as Jared took a shower in his ensuite bathroom. I was cautious at first; should I really watch this after the confession last night? Would he be angry? I pulled at a loose string from my pajama pants, causing it to fray. I continued watching the show, feeling the tears arise. 

"You know, I should've seen it before. But you all look alike to me," Dean spoke to Lilith. 

I began to feel my chest constricting in sorrow. Dean would die soon and Sam would be left to pick up the pieces, again. My Sam...

"I remember filming that episode. Tear drops became my best friend," A smiling Jared stood behind me in low hanging jeans and a muscle shirt. I subconsciously wiped the drool from my mouth.

I smiled back at him and waved him over, holding out my hand to him.

"Jensen just wouldn't quit laughing either," he chuckled, "I don't blame him though. One of the crewmen was dressed in a green suit, pretending to be a hellhound."

I giggled at the thought of Jenson being his goofy self. Jared sat next to me, pulling me on his lap and wrapping his arms around my waist. The mood was perfect--too perfect. I knew that our fight last night was still at the front of his mind but he didn't want to bring it up and upset me. His chivalry had no bounds. We watched the death of his 'brother' on the screen, knowing that he'd be back the next episode but still feeling sad, before cutting it off. Jared pulled my groaning self off the couch and walked into the kitchen with me shuffling behind.

It wasn't a big space but it wasn't small either. It was enough for a grown man living on his own. I had been surprised at first when I entered the quaint apartment instead of an overly spacious condo. The walls were white besides one side being wood paneling and there was barely anywhere to hang anything anymore. Guitars, records, awards, and even a few posters were tacked innocently on the walls. The only picture frames were of his family and a picture of him and his best friend Jensen. The kitchen itself was entirely different. I had taken the stereotypical approach and had wrongly assumed that the kitchen would be barren of groceries and filled with empty, moldy pizza boxes. What was actually there would put Rachel Raye to shame. Jared was an outstanding cook with thousands of dollars invested into his kitchen and kitchen ware. An island counter top was placed on the outskirts with barstools surrounding the back side and I made the decision to sit upon the middle one, swinging my legs back and forth as I watch Jared make his way around the comforting kitchen.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I spoke softly. 

"What's there to talk about?" He muttered, whisking eggs in a black, glass bowl.

I sighed and dropped the topic. I jumped slightly at the sound of the bowl being set carelessly on the kitchen counter. 

"Let's go on a date today," he grinned down at me, his green eyes giving away his excitement, "It'll be fun." I felt horrible for having to turn him down.

"I have class today at the University," I frowned and looked at him pleadingly.

He nodded in understanding and continued to make our breakfast, a never leaving, wondering expression etched onto his face.

\--

After a filling meal and a long, warm shower that I had to kick Jared out of before entering, myself ("But it saves water! Don't you care for the environment?"), I was dressed in the form of a typical University student. I was a sophomore attending school at the University of British Columbia and it was completely worth it.

I pecked Jared on the cheek as I grabbed my coat and bag, heading towards the door.

"I'm heading out!" I call behind me. 

"Be safe, okay?" He jogged across the room to hold the door open for me.

"When am I not?" I winked at him. He shook his head at me, smirking.

"Seriously, be careful, okay? And don't be surprised if I'm not here when you get home. Jenson and I have some filming to do."

"Oh? Where?" I tied my shoe, wanting to make sure nothing other than my clumsiness would cause me to fall on the way to class. I looked up at Jared and he winked at me. 

"It's a secret," Which translated to: I don't actually know. 

He gave me another heart stopping grin, pinching my cheek playfully. I blushed at his flirtatious yet immature nature and reached up to give him a proper kiss, appreciating that I had a man who even knew how to. He pulled me close, kissing the side of my mouth and up my jaw to my ear.

"If you don't leave now, neither of us will leave this apartment," he chuckled and pulled away. 

I blushed even harder, the blood gathering fast in my face. I muttered a goodbye and rushed out the door, out of the building, and into the chilly, Vancouver air. I shrugged on the coat that had been thrown over my arm, struggling to get the plastic buttons through the holes with my mittens on; I wasn't about to take them off. I walked fast down the sidewalk, hurrying to the coffee shop close to campus. I looked at the watch on my wrist and cursed. I only had twenty minutes until class began and it was still a ten minute walk. I had hoped to talk to the professor about Croats. You see, my only class today was a two hour lecture on creatures and monsters of mythology. I had been taking Classical Folklore and Mythology since my senior year of high school. I had advanced further than my peers due to my obsession with the supernatural and I credited myself where it was due. I had told my parents that it was a required class to become a History major when they asked why I was pursuing this 'unrealistic and useless' hobby. In fact, they were the only ones who knew about the class. I refused to tell Jared because I could only imagine how he would feel. I had already told him that I was in love with his alter ego and he would be crushed to know that I had kept this secret from him. Especially when it ties so closely into Supernatural and Sam Winchester. I sighed and stood at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn. I looked up into the sea of grey clouds and a sunless sky, noticing how the birds have already flown south and leaving an empty, open space behind them. At least all they have to worry about is keeping their feathers warm. I grunted and crossed the street.

My boots clicked against the icy sidewalk as I rushed inside the coffee shop--a warm and welcoming place called Reboot Café. It was better than the Starbucks down the road and a hell of a lot cheaper.

"Good morning! What can I get for you today?" A cheerful teenager chirped from behind the register.

I smiled and pointed at the menu. "I'll take a caramel mocha. Two shots of caramel, please."

He smiled wider and gave me my receipt after counting the exact change I laid on the counter. I gave him a short nod before leaving to wait by the pick up area. I stopped and looked back at the black haired, overly tall boy who was now sweeping the floor near some high tables. My eyes squinted as I tried to look for whatever it was that I thought I had seen flash in his eyes but quickly shoved the thought away when a girl brought me my coffee. Must be wearing some freaky contact lenses or something. I left right after that thought, pushing through the onslaught of customers coming out of the wind and cold as I entered it. I rushed the rest of the way to class, making it to my seat with five minutes to spare. I didn't see the professor and decided to speak to him after the lesson. As I took my notebook and pen out of my bag, I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. It was a message from Jared.

Turns out Jensen has other plans he forgot about so I'll be here when you get home, love. :)

I sent a short reply. 

Okay. I'll try to hurry home. Xx

I turned off my phone, putting it in my bag. I was doodling in my class journal when the auditorium door opened then slammed shut. A man that wasn't the professor strutted to the front of the class and began stripping himself of his hat, gloves, and jacket. He set his stuff on the professors desk before turning to the chalk board and began writing The Truth About Monsters on it in messy hand writing. I strained my neck to see over the shoulder of the gigantic boy sitting in front of me, trying to see the mysterious man's face with no luck. I continued looking until he spoke to the entire room.

"How's it going? I'm here because your teacher, professor, whatever you call him, wanted me to be. I may not look like much but I happen to know a lot about the supernatural," I didn't look up, not wanting to be bothered by a man who seemed to be an amateur--not to mention cocky.

The German exchange student beside me raised her hand. "I'm not trying to be rude, but who are you and why did Professor Stewart pick you?"

I felt like snorting. Yeah, because that wasn't rude at all.

"Because, as I'm sure you can tell by looking at me, I'm pretty famous. I think he believed I could get through to you guys better than he could due to my age being closer to yours. Either way, I'm great teacher."

My interest was peaked. Famous? And he knew a good deal about the supernatural? I began pondering on who this mysterious man could be. Phillip Hiscock? Hans-Frederich Mueller? No, scratch that, he had said his age was closer to ours. I slid down a seat, grateful that the boy who usually sat there was absent, and finally saw who was speaking. My eyes went wide.

"As for who I am, my name is Jensen Ackles. Or, if you're a fan and you'd prefer, call me Dean Winchester." He smiled at us, smacking his gum like the arrogant fool we all loved. I gulped, moving back to my seat and hiding my face behind my notebook. 

Oh my God. What the actual hell?

"Seriously, though. Don't call me that."


	3. Oh How the Good Lie Young

I piled my textbooks on top of my messenger bag, praying that Jensen didn't see me.

What is he doing here? I panicked silently then rolled my eyes at my stupidity. Of course, he just said he was doing the lecture! I took a quick peak over my horribly made fortification and ducked back down to safety when I realized he was looking this way. I have to admit, that moron does know how to clean up. He wore a long sleeved, white, button up shirt with a black vest and probably the only bow tie he owned--and I was willing to bet my life savings that it was a clip on. His hair was his usual mess but none of the drooling girls seemed to notice. In fact, I knew they thought it made him look better. Every girl does.

"So, the great thing about filming Supernatural is that all of the monsters are based off of real folklore and mythology. And to do the show, my co-star Jared Padalecki and I have to actually learn all there is to know about these myths and whatnot," I heard him pacing the room as he spoke to the class. His tone was carefree and deep, like he was seriously getting into this. 

I decided to take a risk. I highly doubted Jensen could see me well enough to pinpoint my identity thanks to the freakish giants sitting in front of me (Seriously, shouldn't they be sitting in the back?) and I really wanted to hear the lecture. Not that he would say anything I didn't already know, but I was curious, nonetheless. I raised my head enough to see him in the front, at the bottom of the auditorium seats, ignoring the constant, judging looks I received from Ms. Adolf-Titler beside me.

Jensen turned to the board and began writing Latin words. "Professor Stewart told me you guys had just picked up on Buruburu's so let's start there."

\--

Jensen ended the lecture a little early, telling us that we'd see him more often due to them filming in the college for a few scenes in the next couple weeks. Oh no. I watched him, hidden behind my books, as he shrugged on his jacket and collected his things, leaving the room before anyone else. I let out a breath of relief before standing up. 

"You seem nervous."

I jumped and spun around at the voice. Behind me, only a step up from my row of desks, stood a boy wearing all black and holding a battered textbook. I took him in and noticed a small, but unique pendant hanging around his chest--one that looked really familiar. I pointed at it.

"So I'll take it that your a Supernatural fan?" I gave him a small grin. He chuckled as he played with the same necklace Dean Winchester wore.

"Yes, but you didn't answer my question."

"You didn't ask one."

"Touché," he raised an eyebrow at me, as if daring me to say something. 

I shrugged my shoulders and turned back to my things, packing up. I threw my bag over my shoulder and made my way to the door, looking back at the mysterious guy at the last moment. 

"I wasn't nervous." I spoke way too soon.

As I pushed open the door and made my way outside to leave, I bumped into someone, causing the other person to spill their water all over them. 

"Man, I kinda actually liked this suit," he said jokingly. 

At the same time I cried out, "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!"

We both focused on his wet suit, rubbing napkins over it as if that would help. This looks familiar. Does Jared possibly have the same vest? We both looked up and I stumbled back in surprise. 

"J-Jensen?" I stuttered. 

"Willa?" He looked at me confused before looking at the door I came out, realization coming to him.

"Were you just in the lecture I was teaching?" He looked down at me. 

 

I blushed. "Of course not! W-why would you t-think that?" I blurted out, looking anywhere but at him. 

 

"You've always been a horrible liar, Willa," he chuckled and waved me over to the bench nearby. He sat down and I remained standing, eying him with scared eyes. 

"You can't tell Jared!" I begged Jensen. He looked taken aback. 

"You're telling me that he doesn't already know? Why not? Why can't I tell him?" His voice raised slightly. 

"Because! You know how he is, he won't understand. Sam wouldn't like it that I'm taking this lectu--."

"Sam?" He stood up and his expression hardened, losing all signs of confusion, "This is about that fight isn't it? The one you guys had last night."

I sighed as I realized my mistake. I felt like bawling and dropped down to sit on the bench. Our roles had been reversed. I stared at the cement sidewalk below my feet, searching for an answer that would be acceptable. Of course he knows. Him and Jared don't keep secrets from each other. But what could I possibly say that wouldn't make this situation worse? An ant was scurrying around, bumping into my boots before turning around and bumping into the other one. I stepped on it. I guess the hard, honest truth would have to do.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

"What do you mean, 'you suppose so'? You know or you don't!" The anger was evident in his tone.

"It is, okay?" I looked up at him, tears in my eyes, "If Jared knew about this lecture, about my hobby, how do you think he'd feel? Crushed. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about what's going on between him and I but I don't know what else to say!" I was yelling by then.

He groaned and dropped onto the bench beside me, rubbing his eyes, his elbows on his knees. It was silent for a few moments before he looked at me.

"You can't keep this secret from him, Willa."

"I know."

"It'll only cause a rift between you guys."

"I know."

"He won't like that you didn't tell him."

"I know." I looked at him with irritated eyes.

He held his hands up in submission and backed off, just sitting their with me in silence. Jensen cleared his throat before scratching the back of his head and stood up. He smiled down at me and motioned me to follow. 

"C'mon. I'll take you home. It's not like you live far away," he smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes and wryly smiled back, getting up and walking beside him to his car. I stayed silent as he said hello to passersbys and signed a few autographs. I even took a couple pictures for some obsessing fans. A couple girls had also decided to give him some presents and I decided to be nice and help him carry a few when they started to pile up.

"Don't mention it," I said when he looked at me gratefully. 

When we got to his car, which I complained was at the back of the parking lot, we dumped the presents in the back and sped off. It was only a minutes drive away to Jared's apartment but the ride seemed longer as I stared at the people walking down the street. I noticed a couple laughing and cuddling close to each other as they entered a book store and I felt jealous. Why did I have to make my relationship so complicated? That could be Jared and I... I sighed. I saw Jensen look at me from my peripherals but I said nothing, continuing to judge the world around me.

The radio was playing softly in the background to The Village People's YMCA when we pulled outside of the complex. I fiddled with my gloved fingers before muttering a 'thanks'.

"Don't mention it," he repeated my words back to me.

I said nothing as I exited the car, walking up the stone steps to the door. I heard Jensen honk at me and I turned around to see the window rolled down and him yelling at me.

"Don't forget to tell Jared!"

"I KNOW!" I shouted back at him, waving my arms around. 

He sped off and I could hear his loud, obnoxious laughter coming from inside the vehicle. I groaned and stomped my way upstairs. I took my shoes off outside of our door before walking inside to the smell of freshly baked lasagna. 

"Mm, something smells yummy!" I chirped at Jared's back, strutting across the room to set my things down at the desk before skipping to give my man a kiss in the kitchen. 

He grinned from ear to ear as he caught me and pulled me close, kissing me deeply. This is how all of our kisses were. Jared never seemed to want to let me go and that fact made my heart soar as I wrapped my arms around his neck. When we pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine. I should tell him, now, when he's in such a good mood.

"I figured we'd have an early dinner tonight and then watch a movie?" His words were unsure; asking for my permission as if he needed it. It was cute.

"Sounds like a great plan to me," he let go of me and walked back to the pan of food, finishing it up.

Tell him now.

"You know, you should let me cook, sometime."

Dammit, tell him!

He snorted, "Yeah, and let the apartment building burn down? No thanks." I pouted as he sent me a wink.

We set the table together, casting loving and flirtatious looks at each other. It didn't take us long to eat as we made small talk and asked about each others day. Seriously Willa, you need to tell him. His response won't be that bad as long as you don't keep putting it off. 

After dinner, I gathered the dishes while he crouched down to pick a DVD from under the entertainment center. I couldn't help but stare and let my feelings show as I thought about how much I cared for this man. The way he ran his fingers through his hair when thinking or how he bites his lip when shy made me giddy inside. I even liked his off key singing when he was in the shower. I put the dishes in the sink and filled it with water and soap. I ran my hand under the hot water, basking in its warmth during the chilly night we were having, thinking about the essay I had to write for my history class. My thoughts scattered though when I leaned back into Jared's chest as I heard him come up behind me, letting him wound his arms around me and rest his hands on my stomach. He planted soft kisses on my head before planting them on my neck. 

"You know, you don't have any classes tomorrow."

"Mmhm," Was my reply. I turned off the water, resting my hands on top of his.

"And it's your birthday."

"Mmhm."

He scoffed jokingly at me.

"And? I want to spend the day with you," My face lit up and I turned around to look at him, "But I have to work." My face fell immediately and I looked away.

He lifted my face so I was looking at him and kissed me softly.

"So why don't you come with me and watch?"

I looked at him in shock. Me? Go with him to a set? Was that even allowed? Would that even be a good idea with all that's going on? I couldn't help but think back to what Jensen had told me to do, having momentarily forgotten. I can't keep this a secret anymore. Jared noticed my hesitation and frowned. I felt moths instead of butterflies. I might be sick.

"Do you not want to go? We can do something else, it's just that it might be later if I can't get out of filming. I'll have to talk to Phillip--."

I cut him off, "No! No, I think it's a great idea," I smiled the best I could. His shoulders sagged as he realized I wasn't upset about the idea. How could I even think of ruining his mood?

"I know it's probably not how you want to spend your 21st birthday but at least we get to spend it together."

He held onto my hand and pulled me to the bedroom. 

"What about movie night?" I protested, looking back to the couch.

"You're tired but you won't admit it. I'm tired, too, so we'll just have to take a rain check on the movie, okay?" I smiled at how well he knew me.

We both changed into more comfortable clothes, chucking our dirty ones in the hamper. I jumped into bed, him climbing in behind me. I felt the guilt clawing at me as he pulled the blankets over us, pulling me into his chest as he spooned me from behind. I can't go to sleep without him knowing. It's the right thing to do.

"I love you, Willa Avery Scott. So much," he whispered into my ear.

Maybe it can wait until tomorrow morning.


	4. Something Wicked This Way Comes

To be truthfully honest with you, I didn't think there was a difference between Jared and Sam (can you say ignorant?). But as I stood behind the camera screen, looking over the shoulder of one of the crew members, I saw that there was a difference. A major one. They both had the same kindness running through their bones but their posture, their tone... It didn't match up. I didn't know how I never saw it before. 

"What the hell is going on around here, Ruby?" Sam said to the brunette.

"I wish I knew."

I looked to the actress playing Ruby, Genevieve Cortese. She's beautiful, I muttered to myself. She's a heck of a lot more confident than I am. I watched her play the role perfectly, getting slightly jealous when she walked closer to Jared. My attention was turned elsewhere however when I noticed a certain arrogant man looking my way. Jensen had been shooting looks my way ever since this morning and I was getting tired of it. I glared back at him and he shook his head, going back to eating by the snack table. I groaned as I though back to this morning. 

"So you're telling me that you haven't said anything yet?" Jensen whispered angrily at me. 

"No, but I'm sorry! It's just that... We were having such a perfect night..."

"And that makes it okay?" He pursed his lips and looked at Jared for a few minutes before glaring back at me. 

"I like you, Willa. You've become one of my best friends other than Jared and I will not see this relationship ruined," his eyes became sad, "So I'm going to tell him whether you like it or not."

I gasped and shouted, "No! You can't, you wouldn't do that!" 

"Yes, I really would. And I am." He motioned for me to keep my volume down. 

"Nothing to see here, she's just mad because I said I wanted to burn her One Direction poster," he smiled at the people looking our way in curiosity. I do not like One Direction, I thought. 

I dropped my head into my hands, groaning into them. I wiped a few stray tears away, refusing to look at Jensen. He shook his head at me. He looked confused, as if he didn't understand what was going on. 

"Honestly, what's so bad about telling him, Willa?" 

I turned to look at him.

"It's Jared we're talking about. He loves me. Jensen... You didn't see him that night; the night we talked. He was crushed, crying over it and it broke my heart completely that I, Willa Scott, did that to him!"

He said nothing. Merely looked at the ground with his hands in his pockets.

"If I told him that I was taking this class, one that corresponds with the show and Sam Winchester, what do you think he'd think? He'd be led to believe that there was no chance of me loving him as Jared Padalecki. I can't let him think that. He deserves better."

Jensen was quiet for a few moments before sighing and nodding his head.

"I understand."

I smiled.

"But I'm still telling him."

Dammit.

"If you think he deserves better, then you won't be angry about this. You and I both know that he'd rather hear about it from you. I'm giving you until the end of the film day. If he doesn't know by then, I will tell him." He inclined his head in recognition before leaving to his trailer. I huffed and left to find Jared. 

I glared at the back of Jensen's head, knowing that I could no longer hold this off. I heard someone coming my way and smiled as I looked toward the sound. Jared jogged over to me, a bottle of water in his hand.

"Are you okay?" He wrapped an arm around me, "Is there anything you want? Anything you want to do?" I chuckled at his concern.

"I'm fine, Red," I called him the name I only called him when we were alone. He once told me that he loved the name but requested that no one else heard it. He wanted it to be ours.

"I love it when you call me that."

He kissed my cheek before kissing my lips tenderly, lovingly, and playfully. I kissed him in return, gripping his jacket before pulling away, giving him a sad smile.

"Jared?"

"Yeah?" He pouted at me, sulking at the fact that we didn't finish our kiss.

I flicked his nose lightly. "Don't pout! We need to talk."

He suddenly looked worried and I could only imagine the thoughts processing through his head; the first being that I wanted to end everything between us. Silly boy, I never want you to go. We sat in some of the crew chairs that were placed randomly throughout the set for anyone needing a rest. They weren't very comfortable but that wasn't at the front of my mind at this point in time. I squirmed.

"Willa, what's wrong? Why are you nervous?" He asked me, his tone a bit nervous himself. 

I took a quick glance to the side where I saw passing people making their way to their destinations in hopes to finish their duties and keep their jobs. Some were running while others were leisurely taking their time, chatting on their phones and hanging by the snack table. I gulped when I saw Jensen looking our way, giving me a cheesy smile and a thumbs up that Jared didn't see. Behind Jensen stood Genevieve, scowling this way but suddenly turned the opposite direction when I looked right at her. I wiped the small sweat forming on my forehead before turning back to Jared.

"You see... I haven't been completely honest with you," his expression looked crushed and I quickly rectified the situation, "It's nothing like that I promise! It's just that, for the past three years, I'vebeentakingFolkloreandMythologyattheUniversity."

My words came out rushed and mumbled but he caught it all. I was surprised when he got up out of his own chair and crouched on his knees in front of me. He took ahold of my clammy hands and kissed my fingers. I felt something wet drip onto the back of my hand, sliding down onto my jeans. Is he crying? I felt time stop as I realized he was crying. Because of me.

"Is there any way... Any hope at all... That you'll love me for me?" His face was face down into my lap, grasping my hands tightly. 

Before I could reply he spoke again.

"I wish I never did this show! I wish Sam Winchester never existed! Willa, can't you see how in love with you I am? I'm Sam but I'm also myself. I just need you to see that! To see that I'm more than a character! To see that you mean so much to me, that it hurts to know you don't feel the same way."

What the hell was I supposed to say to that soul wrenching, straight from the heart speech?

"And I know that this sounds pitiful. It's just a class right? But it seems like you're drifting away from me, slowly, like a flower petal down a still stream."

My mouth was hanging wide open to catch flies. Is that how he truly felt? I closed it before opening it again but no words came out so I shut it again. I couldn't take my eyes away from him and he never looked away from me. I blinked multiple times in a row before breaking the tense silence. 

"I love you," I started off, "I love you. And I see now that there's a difference between you and Sam. I fell in love with the idea of you being him but I love YOU. No one else. Can you forgive me?"

He looked at me with stony eyes before pulling me into a bone crushing hug. He didn't speak, didn't move, hell, I don't even know if he was breathing. He just held me and I held him. We didn't make any notion to leave when Philip called everyone back on set and I heard Jensen rattle off some lame excuse as to why Jared wasn't there. I couldn't help the hiccup of laughter that exited my mouth as Jared pulled away. He cupped my cheeks, his thumb caressing the side of my face. I leaned my face into his palms, closing my eyes as I took in his warmth. I twiddle with my thumbs that were laying lifeless in my lap.

"We'll work through it. We always do," I heard him whisper to me before kissing my forehead and standing up. I pouted when he dropped his hands from my face and he returned to his usual happy demeanor. He winked at me and jogged onto set, throwing the still full water bottle into the trash.

Waster, I rolled my eyes. I settled into the uncomfortable chair and watched Dean and Castiel talk with a 'sleeping' Sam nearby.

"You know, that was quite the act you performed there," my head whipped around to see Ms. Cortese smirking down at me.

"Excuse me?" I replied. 

"Excuse you, indeed," she laughed bitterly pointing a manicured finger at me, "How dare you drag Jared around like that? As if you actually care for him!"

"I do care for him!" I jumped to my feet. 

No one seemed to be paying attention to two girls having a cat fight. I was grateful that mostly everyone was occupied with Misha's visual effects. I shot daggers at the leather clad woman and begged for karma to bite her in the ass.

"Do you?" She paced around me, looking me up and down.

"Yes."

"Because it seems all you do is give him doubts and heartache. You don't know Jared like I do, Willa. I see the real Jared everyday when he's acting," she stopped in front of me, crossing her arms over her chest, "And I can tell the difference between Jared and Sam."

I gasped and stared at her in shock. 

"Oh yes, I overheard your little conversation with Jensen earlier. You're a pretty stupid girl aren't you?" I was slightly offended by that comment but a said nothing, clamping my mouth shut.

"And you know what? I'm okay with that. I'm sure Jared would prefer to be with someone who loved him for him, don't you agree? Someone like me. You're simply helping me by pushing him away." 

Is she right? I thought, internally criticizing myself, She can give him what he wants...

"So I'm warning you now. If you get in my way, I will ruin you." With that, she flipped her hair and walked away to God knows where.

I looked at Jared who was smiling at Misha who had told a joke to the Director, Philip. They all gave a mock punch on Misha's shoulder and went their separate ways to film specific scenes. I sat back down in the chair. Am I so selfish that I didn't realize what I'm doing?

"All you give him is doubts and heartache."

But that's exactly what I've been trying to prevent! I tapped my foot on the pavement below and began chewing on my nails; a sick habit that I never kicked since picking it up in middle school.

I heard Jared running lines and used the time to check him out. A lock of hair was tucked behind his ear on one side, allowing me to see his beautiful, forest eyes flicker between the camera man and his transcript. He wore dark, blue jeans and an untucked, red, plaid shirt that was halfway buttoned. A white undershirt peaked through. And, of course, he wore his signature Carhart coat that was more than necessary for the freezing, Vancouver morning. His shoes, I noticed earlier, weren't his but Jensen's, and Jensen wore Jared's. I couldn't help but feel joy for the friendship the two men had. It was a friendship to be envious of and I found myself being so at times but soon forgot the feelings. But Red... He was something else. Someone to fall in love with and grow old with. Someone you could have a future with.

But what about Genevieve? She was everything I wasn't and who was I to deny someone happiness? Where it concerned Jared, all I wanted was for him to be content and enjoying himself. Could he not be free while with me? I was a flightless bird keeping an Eagle tied down to the nest.

I sighed and rubbed my temples to rid myself of the oncoming headache. Happy Birthday to me.


	5. Wishful Thinking

I was practically glued to Jared's side for the rest of the day. His arm stayed wrapped around my waist as he spoke to the other actors or set crew and every now and then he would squeeze me closer or kiss the top of my head. And every time he did this, I couldn't help the smug remarks that kept playing in my head when Genevieve looked our way. Stop being childish, my inner voice scolded me.

Though Jared and I weren't the only ones in a particularly good mood. As soon as I had told Jared the "big secret", Jensen was a lot happier himself. The only person who seemed to be foul was Genevieve.

"Are you ready to go?" Jared smiled down at me while grabbing our coats. I glanced around to see everyone else leaving as well.

I just nodded and smiled back. Wherever he went, I would follow behind like a dragon seeking gold.

We walked to the car hand in hand, swinging them back and forth with every step. We waved to a few people who waved to us and said our last goodbyes. Every now and then he'd playfully bump into me, causing me to giggle at his childishness. I stopped laughing soon after, though, as I saw Genevieve standing at her car..... Right next to ours. I sighed as quietly as I could to myself.

"Hi, Gen!" I flinched subtly at Jared's nickname, "Great filming today. Everyone worked really hard to catch up where we've been slacking."

I threw our bags into the back, shutting the door and resting my forearms on the hood of the car by the passenger seat. Genevieve looked over at me smirking before replying to Jared, continuing their chit chat. I stood there, watching cars and friends leave the set. I was growing restless.

Am I so pathetic that I can't even stand up to Genevieve? I thought, irritated. Then again, maybe she's right. I don't deserve Jared.

"Okay, well, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow."

I heard Jared ending the conversation, giving a short wave as she also said goodbye. I blinked, not realizing that while it seemed like a few seconds to me, it had been much longer--the sun had pretty much set. I watched with a stoic expression as she drove off and Jared turned toward me with a smile that quickly faltered when he saw my face.

"What it is?" He asked confused.

"Nothing," I muttered before sliding into the car.

He followed suit, turning on the vehicle. I didn't speak the whole way home, despite his persistence in asking what had abruptly changed my mood. I stared out of the tinted window, reading every sign we passed and counting all of the people walking in the cold to the nearest coffee shop. I did anything that gave me an excuse to ignore him at the moment.

He finally stopped me as I was storming up to the apartment.

"Willa, please," he pleaded with his eyes.

I stayed silent for a few, prolonged seconds before answering the downtoearth man waiting for my answer.

"We have a screwed up relationship, don't we?" I laughed halfheartedly.

"What do you mean? I think our relationship is perfect."

I looked up at him in shock. Perfect? Like hell. He smiled and rubbed my shoulders.

"Sure, we've had some problems, but that's inevitable, right? But everything else.... I wouldn't change anything," he kissed my frozen cheek, "You love me and I sure as hell love you. That's all I need."

I wrapped my arms around him and we embraced outside of our apartment door. I was suppose to reassure him and give him comfort. I was, after all, the source of the problem. But here he was, once again reassuring me instead. I internally shook my head. How long would I keep up this selfish act? When will it stop being about me?

No, it wasn't just about me, even though at the moment it seemed I couldn't get any more selfish. It takes two to tango and here we were, competing for first place with ease. We were completely fine and working as one.

For now.


	6. Secrets Don't Make Friends But Friends Make Secrets

I was losing my mind. Or, at least, I was about to figuratively.

Snooping around was never something I did willingly. But when I came home from my afternoon lesson and saw the message from Genevieve on Jared's phone, I abandoned all morals. I heard the shower running in the master bedroom and quickly set my things down on the leather love seat that sat against the wall near the front door. Picking up his phone, I read their conversation.

Hey. Hey? Really Jared you messaged the bitch first?

Hey! -Gen.

Can I grab your script from the next season we're about to shoot? Mine was accidentally drowned by a vicious rain puddle. Lol.

Again, Red? I felt anger at the use of my nickname for him. You really should take better care of your scripts lol But I'll lend you mine until you get a new one TOMORROW. -Gen.

Haha Yes, ma'am! Thanks Genevieve.

I felt slightly better that Jared used her full name instead of that cutesy, stupid little shortened version of her name. It was better, but it still filled me with growing hatred. There were only two messages left and when I read them, I wish I hadn't have been so nosy after all.

Are you still wanting to tell Willa about us? :/ -Gen.

Yes.

We'll talk later. -Gen.

I heard the shower cut off and the telltale signs of Jared about to exit the bedroom so I quickly locked and set his phone back onto the counter, trying to make it look like I had just gotten home. When he came out he was smiling, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. But I was hurting a little too much to be awed. I gave him my best smile.

"Hey," I waved slightly.

"Hey," He smiled back at me, strutting forward until he was close enough to give me a hug.

Instinctively, I hugged back, using the comfort of the hug in attempt to forget the past five minutes. I knew it'd constantly be in the back of my mind until I said something, but I wasn't the type of person to confront others and I knew this issue would never be resolved. So I'd just try to forget and hope that maybe, just maybe, that I was overthinking things as I usually did.

We broke apart and he headed back into the bedroom, me following behind like a lost puppy.

"I'm going on another trip," He told me as he picked through a drawer of clothes.

"Oh, okay."

Jared went on trips like Obama goes on vacation--a lot. They were mainly to visit Eric Kripke, a good friend of his, to see a preview of the upcoming season. Red once told me that it helps them (him and Jensen) get a better feel of the upcoming plot for their characters but I secretly believe they just wanted some bro time.

Will Genevieve be there? What if she makes a move on him? What if he realizes she's so much better than me? And as if he read my mind, Jared spoke up.

"Oh, and guess what? Gen is coming this time! It'll be nice for her to take a break for once."

Fuck my life.


	7. An Unexpected Ally

I was tired of these classes. I was tired of the weather changes. I was tired of going home to an empty apartment because Jared was still on his trip. I was tired of being tired.

Usually, I wouldn't care that he was gone. I'd patiently wait for his return like a good little girlfriend (I'm a traditionalist. Sue me.) and greet him with a big kiss when he finally walked through the door but my mind was on edge at the fact that Satan herself happened to be on this particular trip.

What did those messages mean? My train of thought was interrupted by the shrill ringing of the house phone. It was an unknown number.

"Hel--," I was cut of by a gruff voice.

"Sam? Where the hell have you been? Don't you know we have a huntin' trip? These things are coming after yo--," I cut him off as well.

"I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. There's no one by the name of Sam here," I told him, irritated.

He grunted, which I took as a sign of understanding, and he hung up.

"Weird," I muttered to myself before placing the phone back into its holder. I was only a few steps away when it rang again.

"Seriously?" I complained when I saw another unknown number. I angrily picked the phone back up.

"Look, I already told you that there's no Sam her--," What is it with people cutting me off today?

"Listen and listen close, Sam. If you and your brother don't get the hell out of this town, I will find you. You and that pretty little girl of yours. And you know what I'll do? I'm going to gut her like a pig. Right in front of you. Don't take my warning lightly." And with that, I was left with a dial tone.

My hand shook as I dropped the phone, falling into the nearest chair. What in the living hell was that? Who was that? I held my face in my hands. 

That definitely wasn't the same guy as before, I thought. My head was filled with questions. But they were obviously looking for the same people. I stood up, walking quickly to the door to lock the deadbolt. They weren't looking for me, but I still felt uneasy and this made me feel slightly better. I walked back to the phone, placed it into the holder, and headed into the bedroom. I crawled into the bed, wondering if I should call Jared.

No, he's busy. I'll just let him know when he gets home. My mind couldn't stop thinking about that phone call. Should I have called the police? But what would they have done? They probably couldn't trace the call and I had no information very vital in finding the person who had made these threats to this 'Sam' guy or his innocent girlfriend who probably knew nothing about the ordeal. For all I knew, it could've just been a sick, sick joke. My mind was also drifting back to the messages I saw between Jared and Genevieve. I felt my chest ache as my heart almost stopped beating. I knew it. Jared and Genevieve are secretly dating. She was right. I'm a horrible girlfriend. She was just hinting at me that she already had Jared, not that she was going to steal him. I've already lost him.

It wasn't like me to think this way. To throw a pity party for myself. But with Jared being so far away, Genevieve's coldness, and that horrible phone call, I was slowly losing it. It was like I was falling back into the depression I thought I got over in my sophomore year of high school. But as my mother used to tell me, "There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." Maybe it had just been hiding this whole time. Waiting for that moment to happen that would break me, and allow all of these emotions to attack.

I cried into my pillow until I fell asleep but, even then, my worries haunted my dreams.

____________________

I awoke to banging on the door. I turned my head to look at the clock to see it read, three thirty-three in the morning.

I groggily sat up, barely registering that I had fallen asleep in the jeans and t-shirt from yesterday, not even taking my socks and shoes off. My hair was most likely a mess but whoever was here was banging constantly on the door.

"I'm coming!" I shouted. Who could be here this damn early?

I stumbled from the bedroom to the front door, rubbing my eyes and yawning loudly and unattractively. I cursed softly to myself as I knocked over a couple of folders from school onto the floor. I'll pick it up later. I looked through the peephole and saw nothing but blackness. Were the lights off? Is the peephole broken or something? I automatically thought of last night. What if that guy came here thinking Sam lives here? I jumped as the person banged on the door again. I quietly took hold of the umbrella by the door, ready to beat anyone with it that tried to harm me. I unlocked the door as quietly as I could before turning the handle slowly to see who awaited before me in the darkness.


	8. The Truth

"Jim?"

In front of me, covered in dirt and. . . Is that blood? Jim Beaver was out of breath as he pushed past me and into the apartment. 

"Jim, what the hell are you doing, you can't just--."

"Pack a bag of everything you think you'll need," he said to me, searching the house for something and occasionally peaking out the windows, "But I only have room for one bag. Your best bet is a large backpack or a small duffle."

"Pack?" I stopped him in his tracks, "You're not making any sense, Jim."

He sighed, giving me a stern look.

"My names Bobby."

I stared at him for a moment before everything clicked and I burst into laughter,

"Jared or Jensen set you up to this didn't they?"

"What?" He looked baffled.

"Aww, that was sweet of them to do this! I actually felt like I was in the show or something." I chuckled and turned away towards the open, front door.

I felt Jim's hand grasp around my arm, jerking me behind him as he slammed and locked the door.

"Listen here, Willa! I've always considered you a great friend. Hell, I've considered you a daughter to me as soon as you and Jared hooked up. I know you're not stupid," he looked me straight in the eye, "I'm being completely serious."

I stared at him and gulped, my mouth suddenly dry. My eyes flickered to the blood on his chest and considered, briefly, that maybe it wasn't fake after all.

"So you're telling me that your real name is Bobby? And you want me to pack my bags because the guy on the phone is seriously coming to the apartment? I don't understand why they'd come here. I mean, I don't even know a Sam!"

Jim gave me a confused glance, "What guy on the pho-?"

He was cut off by a sudden flash of light as the windows around us shattered and pounding ensued from the front door. Jim jumped away, crunching glass that landed beside him with his boots.

"We've got to go!" 

I was suddenly jerked away as whoever was outside the apartment began cutting down the door. I heard curse words being thrown around as a man shouted instructions to other people in the hallway with him. It's the man from the phone. It has to be.

"What the hell!" I shout as I turn back to Jim and see the fire escape window shatter, "You could've just opened it! It was unlocked!"

Jim stuffed the hammer into his pack and broke the remaining glass with his boot cladded foot.

"Something tells me it wasn't Sam who kept it unlocked."

"Who the fuck is Sam?!"

Suddenly, we heard the front door splinter as the intruders barred their way into the apartment.

"Let's go!" Jim jerked me by the wrist once again, pulling me through the broken window and down the rusty fire escape.

I stumbled as we made it to the bottom, looking up quickly to see a man staring--glaring--down from the window. I was caught off balance once more as Jim pushed me towards an old Chevelle at the entrance of the apartments alley.

"Careful, Jim!" I cry out as I almost fall flat on my face.

"Careful? Willa, if you stop one more time, I'm going to leave you here and tell Jared that you went on vacation!"

As soon as I was going to respond, I was shoved into the passenger seat, the door closing behind me, before Jim slid into the drivers side, speeding off and leaving a trail of exhaust behind with the intruders.

~*~

"Jim--Er... Bobby? I have to pee," I had resolved hours ago into calling him Bobby after hearing his explanation for the chaos that occurred hours ago. Not that I was sure I still truly believed it.

"What the hell is going on, Jim? Why were those men breaking into our apartment? Why haven't we called Jared yet?"

He sighed and tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his eyes never leaving the road as they softened.

"As I said, my name is Bobby. Jared and Jensen's real name is Sam and Dean Winchester."

I stared at him, feeling anger course through my body.

"I would really appreciate it if you would quit the act. Strangers just broke into my apartment, chasing after us. I want some goddamn answers!"

Bobby turned his head towards me in surprise as I shouted before looking irritated.

"I'm not lying, kid. Trust me, I could think of a panic rooms worth of things to joke about and this ain't one of them."

"You expect me to believe this?"

Jim and I sat in silence as I waited for answer. There were scarcely any other vehicles on the road but occasionally one would pass and briefly illuminate our faces before the light disappeared into the darkness. It was silent other than the roar of the Chevelle. The Chevelle I just happened to notice looked like Bobbys.

"Did you take this car from the set? I didn't think they let you do that-."

"It's mine. It's my car and anyone who needs to know, knows that."

I turned around in my seat and faced the front again, staring at the wet pavement that showed signs of a passed storm.

"I just want answers, Jim," I whispered.

I heard him sigh again.

"Then you have to trust and believe me." I looked at him and nodded hesitantly.

"Alright then. Everything you know about Supernatural isn't just a crappy tv show. It's real. Demons, Angels, shapeshifters, hell hounds--believe that it's all real."

I said nothing but I felt the blood drain from my face and I was suddenly cold.

"The show is our lives. It's everything we've had to go through as hunters. Eric Kripke himself is a hunter and it was his idiotic plan that we start this series to try and warn normal living people about the dangers of the world," he grumbled, "Though I never thought it'd get this popular."

He reached behind him and grabbed a beer out of the cooler behind his seat and offered it to me. I shook my head and he stared at me for a moment before looking back at the road and popping the top off, taking a swig.

"Sam and Dean have gone through rough times. The show doesn't go by what's happening in the present, otherwise you'd never see them. Everything's already happened. Now we've just gotta tell the story."

I fiddled with my thumbs, a question burning in my mind.

"Where is Jared now?"

"On a huntin' trip. With Ruby."

My eyes grew wide as it clicked in my head. Genevieve is a.. Demon. No, I shook my head, that's impossible. She can't be..

I looked at Jim. The serious expression he wore never wavered and the concern that wrinkled his aging face was all too real. This was real.

"Who were those men breaking into the apartment?" I asked him.

"Demons. We're in a war, Willa, and Sam and Dean have made enemies."

I knew all too well that the Winchesters had enemies. I had watched many attempts on their lives throughout the series and I had seen many a man fall because of those enemies.

"You're being serious, aren't you?" I asked him.

He looked at me with a caring, concerned expression.

"I am."

I said nothing and neither did he. I had so many questions but I couldn't begin to know how to ask them or if I was even ready for the answers. My eyes drifted to the scenery outside the partially tinted windows. The buildings were becoming scarce and nature was beginning to consume my vision as we entered the country side.

It was like my brain was on an ever moving treadmill and I couldn't find the off button. Though there was one selfish thought that I couldn't keep at bay.

If Jared was really Sam, why was he so intent on me loving the side of him that wasn't real?

"Sorry to rush you but we need to get back on the road, so make it quick," Bobby told me as he began to pump gas into the car. I nodded and made my way into the first American gas station I had ever been into.

Some time after I had fallen asleep, we had apparently crossed the Canadian border into America; heading straight for Sioux Falls. We were going to meet Jared and Jensen there--or should I say, Sam and Dean.

"I don't know if I'll ever get used to that," I mumbled to myself as I walked through the Love's truckstop and entered the bathroom. 

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket and pulled it out to see two notification: a message from Jared and a battery notification, reminding me that I needed to buy a charger while we were here. I finished my business and walked into the travel appliance section of the store, searching for the right cord. I glanced up and noticed a man staring at me while sitting at a table in front of the built in restaurant. He was muscular, though not as muscular as Jared, and his hair was cropped with a salt and pepper color adorning it. I quickly looked back, grabbing the first iPhone charger that looked decent enough and made my way to the register. Waiting in the somewhat long line, I decided that I should take the time to read the message from my boyfriend.

From: Red

I can't wait to see you and neither can Jensen or Genevieve. I love you xoxo

While I doubted Genevieve really wanted to see me, I was excited to see Jared too. I didn't know what I'd say to him or how we'd act around each other now that the secret was out, but I knew that I missed his warm presence and his soft touch.

It was my turn to pay so I snapped out of my thoughts and walked to the register, conscious of the man still staring at me. I grabbed the charger as soon as my change was handed back and speed-walked back to the car where a waiting Bobby was listening to Def Leppard.

"Was the bathroom hidden behind a shelf of chips?"

I held up the charger as an excuse and buckled my seat belt, looking in the passenger side mirror to see the man standing at the entrance and looking our way.

"Let's go."

Bobby just raised an eyebrow before shrugging, starting the car, and hitting the road once again.

I looked into the mirror once more as we did and saw that the man had disappeared.


	9. A Spiteful Reunion

"It... It looks exactly like it does in the show. Only dirtier."

"Thanks," Bobby grumbled as he unlocked the door to his home in Sioux Falls.

He stepped through the door, looking back at me before pausing and doing a double take when he realized I wasn't following. 

"Are ya coming?"

I gulped and stared at the Devils trap that I knew was etched into the floor under the worn out place mat. Bobby sighed, looking towards the inner part of the house, before setting our bags down and walking back out to stand in front of my unmoving figure.

"Willa," his eyes softened, "I know that this is a lot. I know that any sane person wouldn't believe in all of this crap. But you're in this now, whether we wanted you to be or not. And believe me, none of us wanted this life for you.

"Sam's inside that house right now pacing the floor. If you can't pull it together for yourself, do it for him. He only wants to keep you safe." And with that, Bobby entered the house.

I blinked once. Twice. A few more times before taking a deep breath and trudging my way across the porch to step over the door sill, trying to exhale all of the negative emotions I felt as I went. The inside of the house was as I expected. Cluttered with books and beer bottles and had the faint smell of worn but polished wood to it. The kitchen was bigger than I expected but the color scheme was to a tee; including the god awful laminate flooring. I heard voices from what seemed to be a sitting room, that was joined to Bobby's office, across from me. I walked down the dusty hallway, passing by faded photographs of people I didn't know and probably never would, and passed the semi-collapsing stairway to the opening of a well lived in living room. Everyone had there backs to me except for Jar--Sam, and I watched as his eyes lit up with love while the worry that was there disappeared. He pushed past an irritated Jensen (who became less irritated when he saw me) and a glaring Genevieve to swoop me into his arms, hugging me tightly and allowing me to do the same.

"I'm so glad your okay, Willa," I heard him holding back tears as he pulled back to look me over for injuries, "Jim told us about the break in and I almost had a heart attack. To think that thugs lived in that neighborhood--."

I held up a hand to cut him off.

"You don't have to bullshit me, Red. Bobby told me everything."

Fear crossed through his eyes as his head snapped to look at Bobby, who was sipping on a beer, along with Jensen and Genevieve's.

"You told her? About us? About.. The war?" Ruby spat at him.

He roughly sat his half empty, beer bottle onto the stand beside his settee, straightening his back to look the demon in the eyes.

"Yes, I damn well told her. She's part of this now and always was as soon as she and Sam got together! She deserves to know!"

"We should've discussed this beforehand, old man! She could be a threat!" Ruby raised her voice, looking towards me with a sneer, "I say Sam dumps her and we get rid of her. My way."

Sam pulled a knife from the back of his pants, holding it up defensively, "You touch her and I'll make sure you can't find another vessel."

Ruby looked heartbroken for a slight moment before regaining her stern posture and pushing her way towards the exit. We watched in silence as she left and waited to speak until the door had slammed shut.

"Maybe she's right," I said to them, "I am a threat. I have no experience in Hunting and I would just slow you down."

Dean poured himself a glass of whiskey and Bobby slumped into the couch, throwing his crossed legs onto the coffee table in front of him. Sam held an angry expression and stance while gently grasping my hand; a paradox if I ever saw one.

"Don't listen to her," he spoke softly to me.

"Yeah," Dean piped in, smiling, "I never do. She's a grade-A bitch, anyways."

I chuckled slightly at that, rubbing my head as I felt a headache coming on. Sam took ahold of my hands, smiling knowingly at me. He led me down the hallway, throwing over his shoulder to Dean and Bobby that he was showing me to his room, before wrapping an arm around my waist. I laid my head against him as we walked until he opened the door to show a queen sized bed against one wall, and a old dresser against another.

It didn't take long for the both of us to strip and be laying with each other on the surprisingly comfortable mattress. I had missed him--his touch, his voice, his smell. And anyone else could easily deduce that he had missed me too, maybe more that I had him, as we became tangled in each other's embrace. 

For the rest of the night, he made love to me; as if it was our first time all over again. Or, I dared to think, as if it was the last time he ever would.


	10. Number One Hunter

"Please tell me again why we're doing this?"

I dodged Dean's fist as it was coming towards my face, narrowly missing it. That was too close. He grunted and kept advancing.

"Because Bobby decided that you were now apart of all of this so you need to be able to defend yourself in case something happens to Sammy or me."

I ducked beneath his right hook and slammed into his waist, taking him off guard and sending us toppling onto Bobby's gravel driveway with a groan emitting from him. 

"You realize my father taught me self defense when I was a little girl, right? I also take Krav Maga every Thursday," I helped him up as he threw a semi-serious glare my way.

"Girls shouldn't be this tough," he grumbled, walking away, and I rolled my eyes.

I followed him back into the house, snagging the beer he was about to sip from as I passed the kitchen and into the living room where a tired Sam sat. I plopped next to him, crossing my legs atop the table where strewn papers rested. Sam looked over at me and smiled, laying back against the couch and throwing an arm around my shoulders as I offered the beer to him; he took it.

It was a quiet day at the house. Bobby was helping a friend out as Sam and Dean made plans to check out a case in Ilchester, Maryland. And, sadly, Ruby is meeting us there. 

As I sat beside my working boyfriend I glanced around the room. This is real. All of it. I had spent years watching the show and obsessing over every little detail, hoping to one day be a part of it. But never in my young life did I expect it all to be completely real. My eyes widened as I caught sight of a book lying on Bobby's desk in the next room, whose spine faced me: God's Seals and His Plan for Them. I couldn't help but think back in horror to the last episode I was watching.

"Jared?" I said shakily, not bothering to correct myself with his name. 

"What is it, love?" He faced me smiling.

"Bobby said that everything I know about supernatural has already happened," His smile turned into confusion, "Does that..." I gulped, not sure if I wanted to ask.

"Has Dean gone to Hell?"

His face turned serious and he quickly looked back to the papers in his hands.

"Yes. He has."

I felt tears welling in my eyes as I thought of the torture that must have taken place.

"But you said that Jensen was playing around and joking as you guys filmed it. I don't understand how you guys could be so relaxed about it-."

"It's his coping mechanism," Sam cut off my rambling, "We go along with it because it seems to work. Drop it, Willa."

I was shocked and somewhat hurt as he looked at me with those angry eyes. I kept my mouth shut.

"Sounds like it's getting hot and steamy in here. Should I leave?" A grinning Dean was leaning against the doorsill, drinking a beer.

I got up, making my way to the bedroom. 

"I'm going to go pack since we leave in the morning," I brushed past Dean as he looked at Sam.

"What, was it something I said?"

_________________

We stood in front of St. Mary's college in broad daylight, leaning against the impala.

"Please don't tell me this is what I think it is," My hands clenched into fists inside my coat pockets.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked, not looking at me.

"Don't play dumb, Red," He looked at me as I called him by his nickname, "I've read through the directors notes for the next season. This is where Lilith is supposed to die if your plan goes right. And something tells me that this hasn't happened yet."

Sam and Dean both appeared nervous as they averted their eyes and seemed to look anywhere but at me. I crossed my arms and glared at them.

"Do you understand how dangerous this is? You can't just waltz in there!"

"Actually, that's exactly what we're gonna do." Dean flashed me his signature smirk as he grabbed his and Sam's sawed off shotguns. He offered me a handgun, checking to see if it was loaded beforehand. I hesitantly reached for it, only for Dean to pull away.

"Don't take it unless you're absolutely sure about it," he said, suddenly serious.

I nodded and took it from him. My face was impassive but inside I was jittery and excited as I stuffed the gun in the back of my pants; just like I'd seen the boys do over and over. Sam came to my side, pulling me into an affectionate embrace. I felt myself wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him close, inhaling the beautiful scent that coated his chest. This was where I was happy. This was home.

"I love you, Willa," he told me, "Everything will be okay."

I nodded, not saying anything. He lifted my head carefully, cupping my face with his hand while using his free one to tuck hair behind my ear. His eyes were semi crinkled as he smiled and leaned forward to press his soft lips to mine, happily. I kissed back with fever, wanting- needing- him and just him for the rest of my life. When we pulled apart I was reluctant and pouted as he chuckled and grasped my hand into his.

We strode into the church and once we were all inside, the door suddenly slammed behind us with a flash of light.

"What the--?"

I was cut off as the lights came back on and Dean was gone. Sam looked around frantically, shouting out his brothers name, but to no avail.

"Dean!" We kept yelling, searching the corridors of the private school until we made it to the basement.

"Dean must've been taken by someone."

"Maybe Castiel?" I replied to Sam.

"No," he ran a hand through his mane and sat down on a stone bench a few steps away, "Cas wouldn't just take him like that."

I took a seat next to him, resting my arms on my thighs. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I broke the silence with broken laughter.

"This is just too crazy," I told Sam's inquisitive face. 

I knew he understood me completely. Though he, Dean, and Bobby had been hunting for years, I had only been thrust into this world a short time ago. My head was constantly spinning around the new and old information it stored inside of it; Demons, Angels, the apocolypse. And now Dean had magically disappeared on the day we were supposed to kill Lilith--something else I still couldn't wrap my head around. The concept that killing one demon could save the world and prevent Lucifer from rising was confusing and, in my opinion, didn't make any sense. But to my discredit, I had never been very religious to begin with.

I was snapped out of my abstraction as Sam rose to his feet and checked his watch.

"We can't sit here and worry. We're just going to have to start this without him. Luckily we have Ruby."

Lucky, my ass.

I nod my head and follow him out of the building. In what seemed like only minutes later, we were crossing into the next county in the Impala to meet up with Satan. I rolled my eyes as I acknowledged that we weren't in all reality, because he's still in the pit.

But Ruby comes pretty damn close to it.

Sam parked the car in an open field, stowing the keys in his pocket, as we leaned against its slick, black hood. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the breeze and Sam's arm around my waist for as long as I could until Ruby arrived at the field.

"Want to know something?" I kept my head against his chest and didn't look up at him as I spoke.

"From you?" I could hear the smile, "Anything."

"I know Deans okay, wherever he is. After all, other than you he's the best hunter in the world." Sam said nothing after that but I felt his body relax just a bit more.

He hummed a song as we continued to wait--a song he and Jensen sung playfully, often. But to my displeasure, Eye of the Tiger was cut short as Ruby came into view.

"I'm not sure if I should be surprised you brought her or angry." She sneered at me and I looked away.

"Cut it out, Ruby," Sam tightened his arm around me and I smirked. She rolled her eyes.

"Sure, whatever. I'm glad you could make it on time, we only have a short time period until Lilith comes with her gang."

"So what's the plan, anyways? To take down the big, bad, demon?" I crossed my arms.

She ignored me and continued talking to Sam.

"Where's Dean? Did he finally chicken out?"

He ignored her second question as he answered the first, "He disappeared during a power outage at St. Mary's. We don't know where he is."

She sighed in return.

"Well, we don't have time to find him. We'll have to start without him."

Sam nodded and I pushed my question once again.

"Starting what? What is the plan?"

Ruby set down the two, translucent containers I hadn't realized she had carried over and finally answered me.

"Blood. And lots of it."

My face went pale as I realized what she was saying. I looked up at Sam to see his face resigned and I knew there was no getting out of this. Why did I ask? I groaned internally.

"You mean...?"

"For his gifts from Azazel? Yes, and we're going to need more than what we've got here." She tapped one of the large containers with her boot clad foot.

"Great."

You took the words right out of my mouth, Red.


	11. Lucifer Rising, Willa Falling

Killing demons is not my next career choice.

Though I'm top in hand to hand combat, I was never trained in how to defeat a supernatural opponent thirty times stronger than me.

"Willa, catch!"

I caught the knife Sam threw to me, barely noticing the etchings on the side of it as I grasped it's leather handle and shoved it into the demon holding onto me. My eyes widened as, what I saw to be, lightening coursed through its body, effectively killing it.

Sam and Ruby walked over to me as the demon dropped to the floor and I looked at the corpse in slight disgust.

"Good work, team," Ruby said sarcastically.

"Your attitude isn't appreciated," Sam muttered, beginning the blood drainage process on the demons we had slain.

"I'm still really confused. You guys haven't exactly told me the plan."

Sam looked up at me, showing a caring smile. 

"I understand that we haven't been very forthcoming. To be honest, you're doing so well with all of this change that I almost forget that you're new to the hunter lifestyle."

Hunter lifestyle? I'm not cut out to be a hunter, Sam.

"Just keep up with us," Ruby sneered, "You'll figure it out soon enough."

And it was left at that.

___________________

More and more time kept passing as we waited at a motel down the street from the church. By this point, I couldn't find anymore positions in the room to take to make myself comfortably as the anxiety built inside of me. Sam sat at the only table in the room, constantly switching between websites. Ruby had disappeared over an hour ago, much to my pleasure.

I sighed, which I felt had become a hobby of mine, and stood to wash my face in the bathroom. Before I could take my first step, I screamed as I saw a man standing in front of me. I scrambled backwards and Sam suddenly appeared in front of me with a gun pointing forward. I saw his tense back quickly loosen from its tense state as he lowered his gun.

"Cas? Where have you been? Why haven't you been answering my prayers?"

Cas? As in... Castiel?

I peered around Sam's form to see a stoic looking Castiel staring back at Sam. 

"I've been... Busy."

Sam rolled his eyes and set his gun down, taking a seat once more. Cas looked at me curiously before turning back to my boyfriend, then turning to me again.

"Who are you?"

I stuttered as I replied, "W-Willa. And y-you're Cas-Castiel, right?" A real Angel.

"Yes. I am an Angel of the Lord."

Trust me, I know.

I simply nodded and flickered my eyes towards Sam who looked at me with loving eyes; telling me it was okay to talk. How can he not get flustered in front of an Angel? What if I lie to him and he sends me to hell?

"It doesn't work like that," my eyes widened as Castiel spoke to me, "I could hear your thoughts loud and clear. You are very open. I will not send you to hell. That power is reserved to God."

Sam noticed the awkward atmosphere and stepped in quickly.

"What are you doing here, Cas?"

"I need to speak with you and Dean," he looked around, "Where is he?"

"We don't know," Sam looked between me and Castiel, "We were at the college when there was a flash of light. Then he was gone."

Sadness coated Sam's words, his worry clear on his face.

"I was afraid of this. He was more than likely taken by Zachariah."

"The Angel?" I asked.

"Yes," Castiel nodded to me.

"Of course!" Sam exclaimed, "Zachariah has been trying to convince Dean of his role in the apocolypse from the get go! Everyone knows Dean's against mine and Ruby's plan to kill Lilith."

I looked between Sam and Castiel, many thoughts swirling through my head.

"So... He's trying to convince Dean to convince you to not kill Lilith? But I thought Dean was going along with the plan?" I looked confusingly at Sam.

He opened his mouth as if to say something but closed it, looking anywhere but at me before speaking.

"He may or may not have been aware of the actual plan."

Oh, Red, what have we done?

_________________

"You're still doing the plan with me?" 

Sam and I were speeding down the street in the Impala, attempting to get to the church before Dean and Zachariah. 

"Yes." There was silence.

"Why?" I sighed.

"Because I love you. Because I trust you," I looked at him with a small smile, though my eyes were sad, "I just hope this ends up working."

He looked towards the road for a minute.

"Me too."

We switched off driving halfway into the night; why Sam and Dean decided to have a hideout so far away from town was a complete mystery to me. But it would be a lie if I said it bothered me. It was a smooth, quiet ride. It seemed, and was, the only time I could truly stop and think. My mind was ever busy, thinking about my past, present, and future. I knew that the plans I had for Sam and I were no longer possible. He couldn't have an "apple pie" life and neither could I if I wanted to stay with him. I looked over at his sleeping figure as I drove pass the towns welcome sign. In a few minutes we'd be meeting Ruby to go over the plan and prepare for the upcoming battle.

Ruby, I scoffed to myself. I couldn't bring myself to hate her, but I certainly didn't like her. My heart ached as I thought about her stealing Sam away from me. He was my last grip on my sanity, the one person who held my world together. 

The only person I've ever truly loved.

I felt threatened by her and my grip around the steering wheel tightened when we pulled up onto the church and she came into view. Sam was still asleep and I didn't see the need to wake him, so I exited the car and greeted her myself.

"Ruby."

"Willa." She sneered my name.

We stood there glaring at each other before she fixed her gaze on my sleeping boyfriend.

"Glad to see he's getting rest. Especially after all that's happened."

"What do you mean?" I asked her, wondering if this was some trick to make me feel bad.

She glared at me again and looked me up and down, like she was understanding why she didn't like me all over again. 

"What kind of girlfriend are you," she took a few steps towards me, "To not know what's going on in your boyfriends life?" 

I hesitated, leaning back slightly, before scowling at her.

"I know what goes on!" I whisper-yelled at her, hoping to not wake Sam.

"Oh really? So you know about the fight between Sam and Dean? About how Dean wanted practically nothing to do with Sam and his blood drinking? They're walking a thin line, acting like brothers for yours and Bobby's sake. Did you know that, bitch?"

My look of surprised and shock was all she needed as an expression of triumph adorned her face. 

"I didn't think so."

She's right, I thought to myself, casting my gaze into the kicked up dirt below, Do I truly know Sam? I didn't know he was a real hunter. Ruby did. I didn't know about the fight between him and Dean. Ruby did...

I was broke out of my trance at the sound of a door slamming shut. I twisted my head around to see Sam walking towards us, smiling as he draped an arm around my waist and kissed my forehead.

"Why didn't you wake me?" He asked.

"You looked so peaceful I thought I'd let you sleep some," I half smiled back at him and leaned my head against his chest.

"Gross," Ruby muttered, much to Sam's dismay.

We ignored her.

"Okay," He walked to the back of the car, yelling towards us as he gathered our weapons, "Let's get set up before everyone else comes."

Ruby and I looked at each other before nodding in unison.

"Okay."

It took a matter of minutes to set up shop in the heart of the church; in a room adjacent to the room that the covenant used as their sanctuary. We set up multiple spots to use as a lookout and agreed to switch off and on to keep guard until Lilith arrived. 

"I'll go first," Ruby spoke up, "I need some air anyways." 

I watched her leave from my sitting position by the altar and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"That tense, huh?" Sam sat beside me, pulling me closer to him.

"That's an understatement. She hates me and I'm terrified that she'll backstab us," I grumbled.

He sighed and stroked my hair.

"Things will get better after this, I promise. We'll have stopped the apocalypse and we can go back to our normal lives at the apartment. I'll finish the show and get a real job in Marketing or something," we both chuckled at that.

"I'll take you on a date every night," he continued, "Something new. Something to forget all of this. We can go camping. Try snowboarding. Hell, maybe redecorate the whole apartment." He kissed the top of my head and I looked up at his grinning face.

"Anything you want, Willa. I will give it to you if it means you'll stay with me after all of this."

I looked at him, heartbroken.

"You thought I would leave you?" I whispered.

He laughed humorlessly, "Yeah. Why would you stay? I'm dragging you through hell, almost literally. Why would you stay?"

I turned so my whole body faced him and cupped his face in my hands.

"Red," he smiled at his soft spoken nickname, "I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love someone. I would repeat this day and the ones before it for the rest of my life as long as I knew you'd be right here beside me. I will never leave. You're stuck with me," my eyes twinkled with tender love and compassion as I pulled him into a warm hug.

He wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me into his lap. He gripped me tightly before pushing me away slightly, staring into my eyes with a slightly scared expression. I stared back, worried.

"Sam-," before I could ask what was wrong, his soft lips were pressed against mine in a much needed kiss. I felt my previous worries disappear as he poured all of his love into this one kiss--and then I was scared again. Why did it seem like he was terrified of the future? Like everything was suddenly crashing down? Didn't he trust in the plan?

He released me from the kiss and pressed his forehead against mine.

"I love you," he said breathlessly.

Still scared and worried, I answered, "I love you, too."

"Okay, lovebirds, break it up."

We jumped as Ruby's voice broke through our personal bubble and we scowled at her. She rolled her eyes.

"It's you're turn to take guard, Sweetcheeks," She smirked at me.

I looked to Sam and he smiled sadly, nodding at me. I brushed past Ruby, earning a growl from her, as I walked out the stone doors and down the hallway to the first lookout.

I wish Dean was here. He'd know what to say to Sam. But as I thought about Ruby's earlier bit of information, I wondered if he actually would. Would he make things better? Or say the wrong thing in the heat of the moment? I shook my head, sweeping the area before deciding we were clear and moving on to the next spot. I made sure to tread softly through the hallways but still managed to bump into a dark figure. I screamed.

"Shut up, Willa!" A gruff voice said.

"Dean?" I whispered, noticing the leather jacket and cropped hair, "Where the hell have you been?"

We began walking towards the sanctuary across the church.

"With Zachariah." 

"So Castiel was right," I mumbled. Dean suddenly stopped.

"You spoke with Cas?" 

"Yeah, earlier with Sam. He said that you might be with Zachariah and then left. We haven't seen him since."

He sighed and we continued fast walking, "Last time I was with him, he was about to face an Archangel with Chuck."

"What's going on?" I struggled to keep up with him down the dimly lit hallways.

"I'll fill you in later but right now we have to hurry. Lilith's here. She's the last seal, Willa. If Sam kills her, the Devils coming to dinner."

My eyes watered at the thought of Sam starting the apocalypse and nodded. We broke out into a jog, reaching the sanctuary quickly but soon realized we were trapped outside. I don't remember the doors being locked.

"Dammit!" Dean exclaimed, pounding on the door with his fists, "Sam! Sam!"

I searched around us and saw a tall, metal candle holder. I heaved it away from the window and passed it to Dean.

"Try this!"

Together we picked it up and slammed it into the door. We heard raised voices on the other side and hurried out advances, finally breaking through the doors. We dropped the candle holder and I gasped at the sight before us. Lilith laid, splayed across the stone floor as bloods seeped out of her, running to form a symbol of some kind. Or a door.

"You're too late!" Ruby shouted arrogantly towards us.

"I don't care." And before we could blink, Dean had taken the demon blade from Sam and thrust it into Ruby's stomach, silencing her forever.

There was only a millisecond of stillness after Ruby's lifeless form dropped onto the floor beside Lilith's and I ran over to Sam, crying and pulling him into an embrace.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...," I hushed his apologies and pulled him towards Dean and the door.

"We've got to go, Sam, we can't stay here!"

He nodded and we ran to the doors but they were suddenly slammed shut and wouldn't budge. We pounded and kicked the doors but they were completely solid. The candle holder wouldn't help us this time.

A rumbling began that shook the ground beneath us. We struggled for balance and Lilith's blood connected and a light began to grow, spilling upwards from the ground. It was hot against my flesh and we did our best to shield out eyes away from it while still trying to see.

"He's coming," Sam said, horrified.

"He's coming," he said again.

I choked on my tears as the light got brighter and we could hear cries and growls erupting from the portal before us. A high pitched whine began that made us cry out as our ears bled from pain and our hearts beat erratically from the stress of it all. I looked at a hunched over Dean before looking at Sam. I reached fore his hand and grasped it tightly in his, leaving an open ear for both of us. This is it.

"I love you!" I shouted over the sound of war and death approaching.

"I love you!" He shouted back and squeezed my hand.

I smiled through my tears and we closed our eyes as we waited for the inevitable.

_________________

Third Person POV

"What the Devil is your name?"

"Yo-Yosimete Sam!"

Sam and Dean rose from their hunched position as they stared around them in confusion. They were on a plane.

"What the hell?" Dean whispered.

"I don't know," They were breathing heavily. 

The plane smelled musky and was quiet except for the roar of the engine and the sounds of scattered people munching on peanuts. They both flinched as the captain spoke loudly over the intercom.

"Folks, quick word from the flight deck. We're just passing over Ilchester, the Ellicott City, on our initial decent into Baltimore..."

"Weren't we just there?" Dean asked Sam, staring out of the window.

"Yeah," Sam looked around, brows furrowed before horror crossed his features.

"Dean?"

"What?" He looked away from the window.

"Where's Willa?"

Before he could answer, a beam of yellow light shot up from the ground, viciously shaking the plane. Screams of terror were heard all around as oxygen masks dropped from the apartments overhead and the plane began a drastic decent for an emergency landing.

Sam gripped the arms of his seat, fumbling until the mask covered his face; his brother was in the same boat. His head was quickly snapping from side to side in attempt to assess the situation as the burning light filled the space around him, giving him major whiplash.

"Sam!" Dean shouted through the mask and noise.

Sam looked towards his brother, his eyes relaying the message his brother was trying to say out loud and the message he didn't want to be true--Willa wasn't with up there with them.

She was still down there with Lucifer.


	12. Do Swans Have a Song?

The light still burned into my skin, nothing was different; except that Sam and Dean were no longer here.

"SAM!" I screamed, my voice lost amongst everything else.

"Dean!" I screamed a bit weaker. I felt tired, like my strength and energy were being sucked from my body.

The light got continuously brighter before there was a shattering shake of the earth, causing me to drop to my knees, and everything seemed to just... Stop. The light was gone, the growls were no longer present, and all that remained was Lilith and Ruby's bodies on the stone ground, crisp from being burnt by the hot light, and surrounded by blood. I headed at the smell and sight, crawling towards the door.

"Well, what do we have here?"

My breathing was labored and my body was shaking in exhaustion. I slowly looked up to see the blackest shadow of smoke with slight hints of red that almost formed the essence and figure of a man.

"L-Lucifer," I breathed out, terrified.

"Ah, so you do know of me," the shadow spoke.

I shuffled towards the door, too weak to stand but still attempting to run. 

"You're Satan," I said more firmly and assuredly.

He stepped towards me, spreading his arms open as if to comfort me, "I'm still an Angel. A creation of God. People think so terribly of me for loving my Father too much. But you... What are you?"

I looked confusingly at him, terrified, but halted my advances to the door.

"I'm human," I replied, hesitantly.

"But are you? You can see me. Hear me. Like none other human. Are you a prophet?" He kept speaking before I could reply, "No, I would know if you were. A descendant, perhaps?"

I had no idea what he was talking about. My mind ran through the small amount of biblical and supernatural information I had, nothing matching up. I grunted as I clumsily stood up, leaning my weight against the nearest wall. 

"I don't know what you're talking about," I spoke to him, my mind made up, "But if you're going to kill me, I suggest you do it before I make my way back to Sam."

He chuckled as well as a cloud of smoke could, "Ah, the Winchesters. No need to worry, dear. I have no plan to kill you. In fact, I have a proposition for you."

"A p-proposition?" I stuttered, taken aback, at the idea of the devil wanting to compromise with me.

"Yes, a proposition... Of sorts. You see," He glided across the floor in a walking motion towards the other wall, "In this form I can do nothing. I am nothing. But you... I can feel your presence. Your magic. You can contain me."

I shook my head, "Contain you? As in, be your vessel?" My eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yes," He said cheerfully, "You can contain my essence and be my vessel. But as I said, I am an Angel. So I can only enter you willingly."

I knew all of these things, but I didn't say that to him. Be his vessel? His puppet? I furrowed my brows in anger.

"Never! I would never help the likes of you!" I hunched over slightly in pain. My ribs were bruised and throbbing.

"That's were I propose something to you. I can heal you the minute you let me in," his words did nothing for me, "And I can protect your darling Sam."

My head snapped up, my eyes burning with curiosity.

"How? Why?" Sam. My Sam that I needed to breath. That I needed to live.

"It would be wise of me to have someone of your talents with me. And in return I will order the protection of Sam Winchester. I will only need your body until I can find something more... Disposable. Then you are free to leave or stay by my side. And you know what? For your loyalty, I'll even continue to protect Sam."

Was he lying? Was this some sick, cruel joke that I'll regret when it's all over? I looked his shadowed form over, wary. I gripped my side as the pain in my side intensified but held out a little longer. I would endure every pain and hardship in this world for Sam. The world I was forced into and still didn't want to be a part of. But I would keep going, keep killing, for his safety. My eyes flickered away from him and then back. But could I? Though I said all of these things, was I truly strong enough for this? I was always weak. Always shy. But then I met Sam and he turned my world in a 360 degree spin; he made me into something better. I blinked a few times before putting on a stern expression, straightening up to the best of my ability.

"If you promise to keep Sam AND Dean safe, I will agree to be your vessel."

If Lucifer could smile, I'm sure he would have. A wide, evil smile.

"I agree to those conditions. I promise. And an Angel never breaks his promise."

"Okay," I said scared, but sure of my decision, "I agree to be your vessel."

His form dissipated and the black smoke filled the ceiling of the sanctuary. It swirled around causing wind to blow through the room, knocking over furniture and blowing out the windows. It began to descend and I couldn't hold back the scream that ripped from me as I looked death into the eye. Though, before I made any true sound, I was choking as Lucifer's essence burned through me. My body convulsed as I cried and I fell backwards into the cold floor as I felt a knew soul attach to my own. A warm soul.

"Yes, you are strong. We shall become one for now."

My eyes clouded over as he took over and I felt myself being shoved back into my mind, unable to move my limbs or blink my eyes. Colors swarmed my inner vision as I saw pictures begin to move and play.

"These are my thoughts. My memories. You shall know everything about me, as I will know everything about you."

I sucked in a breath as I watched him fight his brothers. I wept as I saw God cast him out.

I understand, I cried to myself, To love someone so much you can't love anyone else more.

"Then you will help me?"

I cried as I thought of what it would be like for Sam to cast me out after loving him for so long, after giving him everything. I cried as I realized and felt that was what Lucifer had gone through. At the same time, my conscious was rising to the surface. Either way, was this right? Could I help the devil to protect the love of my life?

"Willa, will you help me?" He grabbed my name from past memories, snapping my out of my thoughts.

I looked through eyes that weren't mine at the moment, staring at the destruction before me; the destruction we had caused and would ultimately cause Sam and Dean to have made even more enemies. I stared before closing my eyes.

I will help.

And then he smiled.


End file.
